Every day is really the same and since the holidays are over it's difficult to determine when things happened in my head because I have nothing to distinguish one month from another. Anyway, I'm getting ready to go home and although it hasn't really sunken in yet that I'm actually going to leave this place, I've had some time to think about everything I've done, so I thought I'd share.
I have met some of the most amazing people in the world. I've also gained a new perspective that I wouldn't trade for anything. The organization I was a part of unfortunately had several amputees that I worked with everyday. Prior to this deployment I had no idea the military allowed you to continue serving on active duty once you're an amputee and it truly warmed my heart to meet them, hear their stories, and see them in their environment. No one treated them any differently than any of the over service members. It was truly incredible. This is the only place in the world where they're treated as "normal" (whatever that is). One gentleman in particular was an honor to have met and gotten to know. He was missing an eye and an arm and he would make everyone laugh and poke fun at him and at the same time bring humility to everyone in the room. He would take his fake eye out and put it in the peanut bowl for someone to accidentally pick up or place it on someone's notebook in a meeting and everyone would just laugh and say dude put your eye back in. Then there was one time when everyone was bitching about having to attend a meeting, and as each person filed into the room and continued complaining he just sat quietly and waited for the meeting to start. So, prior to the start I greeted him and asked how he was and if he was as down about this particular meeting as everyone else. He responded, "I've certainly had worse days". Everyone in the room froze and quit complaining. This is a gentlemen that on the day he lost his arm and eye, other soldiers were picking up the bodies after the attack and threw his body onto a pile saying he was dead,when in fact he was alive and conscious and remembers every minute as he struggled to attempt to put a tourniquet on his amputated arm (not realizing at this point that it was gone) or get someones attention. I will never forget him and every time I hear people bitching about their mundane lives, I will always remember "I've had worse days". Truly a hero I will always be grateful to have met, served with, and wish him nothing but absolute happiness in his future.
The other thing that has truly changed me has been meeting the women in this country. When I'm out in the villages, the women are not typically out where I am, so I'm starred at by the village elders as a bit of a unicorn. But occasionally, amongst all of the stares and whispers, I'd notice a local woman. We'd make eye contact, and it really was a surreal feeling, almost like looking into the soul of another person. I know that sounds cheesy to most probably, but looking into her eyes and her staring back into mine, it rocked me to my core. We did not speak each other's language and I will never understand the pain and hardship of her life and she will never understand the privileges I enjoy everyday that she will never experience, but there was some level of understanding and care there just because we were women. It was the first time in my life that I understood that just because of the country I was born in has made all the difference in a lifetime. Now, don't get me wrong, I completely understand that this is not a country that is anywhere near advocating for women's rights, if you can't walk down the street without getting blown up or don't have access to food and water on a regular basis, then you're nowhere near starting to think about women's rights, but it was an experience I'll never forget and it truly changed who I am. I will always remember those sad eyes and the love and understanding we felt for each other in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by chaos, just staring at each other. I will probably see her face for the rest of my life in my dreams, and I would not have it any other way because I want to always remember how grateful I am for the freedoms we enjoy everyday. I pray that every time I look at my nieces or future daughters playing and laughing, I want to remember this brave woman and her children.
Speaking of children, some of the children in this country are the faces of a future and hope. Every day can be a challenge to remember why we're still here. Mostly for the people I knew well, we're just here for the person on our left and right. We're certainly not fooled into believing we're here for America's freedom or the freedom of these people (because they have to want it and fight for it themselves, which they don't). But on rare occasions, we'd see something that would restore our hope for the future. A couple of occasions where I experienced this were driving through the country, I saw children playing baseball. Baseball!! Just a few short years ago these children and their families could have been murdered for this. And here these kids were just out in an open field playing baseball with their friends. I still smile every time I picture them. There were also children who would stand on the side of the road and just wait to see American trucks roll through. When they would see us, they'd jump up and frantically wave their little hands and if you waved back they'd get so excited and grab their friend next to them in a "did you see that" kind of way. It reminded me of being a kid and driving down the road and trying to get a truck driver to honk his horn. This kids responded the same way I did as a child each time they got a wave back. It was heartwarming and comforting to bring some joy to them, if even just for a minute.
I'll leave you with a couple of pictures from some of the adventures over the past couple months.
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